After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom “ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to flight 293 non-stop service from new york to LA. The weather ahead is calm so it should be a smooth and uneventful flight. So sit back and enjoy-OH MY GOD!”.
After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, “I’d rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores than let liquor touch my lips.”
The drill instructor throws everyone that doesn’t jump on their own out of the aircraft personally. The second to last puts up a real fight, but the instructor manages to push him out. The last recruit nearly looses his shit laughing. The instructor turns around and asks: “Do you think this kind of cowardice is
A Mormon was seated next to an Irishman on a flight from London to the US. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was promptly brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the Mormon if he would like a drink. He replied in
A gay couple (Jeremiah and Timothy) is traveling on a plane. “What if we had sex?” asks Jeremiah. “Are you crazy? Here, on the plane? It would be awkward, everyone would watch us doing it…” “Nobody is even paying attention to anything. Look!” Jeremiah stands up and asks loudly: “Could I have a napkin, please?”
But he’s ok, don’t worry. He’s staggering through the jungle when he suddenly realizes he’s surrounded by bloodthirsty savages. And he thinks, “Man, I am totally fucked.” “No”, a voice booms out from the heavens, “You’re not fucked.” The voice continues, “Listen to me very carefully. Grab the spear from the savage next to you,
One sat in the window seat, the other in the middle seat. Just before take-off an Israeli guy got on and took the aisle seat next to the Arabs. He kicked off his shoes, wiggled his toes and was just settling in when the Arab in the window seat said, “I think I’ll go up