Tag: dies

An Ottawa man dies and goes to hell.

When he gets there, the devil comes over to welcome him. The devil then says, “Sometimes it gets pretty uncomfortable down here.” The man says, “No problem. I’m from Ottawa.” So the devil goes over to the thermostat, turns the temperature up to 100, and the humidity up to 80. He then goes back to

A Muslim dies and goes to heaven.

He is about to climb up the white clouded stairs and stops in front of a golden gate. There is a bearded man waiting for him. The Muslim asks: “Are you Mohammed?” “No, I’m St. Peter. Mohammed is higher up” The Muslim is very happy to hear that Mohammed is more important than Saint Peter

A Calvinist dies and goes to heaven

A Calvinist dies and goes to heaven. When he arrives, he sees two lines to get in. One is labeled “Predestination” and one is labeled “Free Will”. So, being a Calvinist, he goes to the back of the Predestination line and waits for his turn. When he gets to the front of the line, the

An engineer dies and goes to hell

Lucifer : I don’t get it, you weren’t supposed to be here, maybe there’s some mixup, hold on….”*calls God*” God : Yo Lucy, wassup? Lucifer : Was Mr. Rowan supposed to be here, I don’t find him on the list. God : Oh yeah, he was supposed to be here in heaven. Looks like Reaper

A lawyer dies and goes to Heaven.

“There must be some mistake,” the lawyer argues. “I’m too young to die. I’m only fifty five!” “Fifty five?” says Saint Peter. “No, according to our calculations, you’re eighty two.” “How’d you get that?” the lawyer asks. St. Peter says, “We added up your time sheets.” View Reddit by ponyrojo – View Source Please follow