Tag: decides

A man decides to buy his family a pet

So he goes downtown to a new pet store that’s advertising exotic animals. Walking around the store the man sees a frog on sale for $1,500 and asks the cashier “why is this frog so expensive?” The cashier chuckles a little and says “well that sir isn’t just any frog, it’s a South American blowjob

A drunk Minnesotan decides to go ice fishing

He starts sawing a hole in the ice, but just then a booming voice says, “You will find no fish there.” The drunk ignores it and continues sawing. The voice repeats, “You will find no fish under the ice.” The drunk looks up and says, “God, is that you?” The voice says, “No, I’m the

A teacher decides to let students out early if they can name the origin of a famous quote.

Teacher: “Who said ‘Four Score and Seven Years Ago’?” Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, “Abraham Lincoln.” Teacher: “That’s right Susie, you can go home.” Teacher: “Who said ‘I Have a Dream’?” Again, before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, “Martin Luther King.” Teacher: “That’s right Mary, you can go.” Teacher: “Who

A dog decides to visit the Safari in Africa

One day he gets lost. And while he’s walking in the Safari, he suddenly sees a tiger running toward him. The dog panics, and while he was thinking how to escape, he saw bones on the ground. He grabbed them in his mouth, and as the tiger approached, the dog said aloud, “It was a

So Hitler decides to go see a psychic…

…and the psychic tells him that he will die on the day of a Jewish holiday. Hitler, obviously distraught, demands the psychic tell him more, and tries to coerce him into giving more details in hopes that he can somehow prevent it. After much back and forth, the psychic finally snaps in impatience and says,