1. “So a guy walks into a bar and orders a pint of less.”
    Could I have a stale tepid beer, in a cracked glass, with a trace of lipstick around the rim?
    We couldn’t possible serve you anything like that sir!
    Well you did last time I came in.

  2. The bartender looked at the man’s jaundiced skin, and then at his 12 inch pianist friend playing a tiny piano atop the bar. The pianist gave a subtle nod, and and the bartender poured a tall glass of vodka. The man drank it, and keeled over, dead.

    Flashback: The dead man was a gymnastics coach who had abused the bartender years ago.

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