Little Johnny goes to a Whorehouse

Little Johnny, about 7 years old, is on his way to a whorehouse. Once he gets there, he goes to the Madame and speaks to her Johnny: Hey there Missus. I would like a hooker, please Madame: I’m sorry little boy. you look way too young to come here. What’s your phone number? I think

A man walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, and sees that it’s filled to the brim with $10 bills. He guesses there must be at least ten thousand dollars in it.

He approaches the bartender and asks, “What’s with the money in the jar?” “Well…, you pay $10, and if you pass three tests, you get all the money in the jar and the keys to a brand new Ferrari.” The man certainly isn’t going to pass this up, so he asks, “What are the three

“That’s not it.”

A general noticed one of his soldiers behaving oddly. The soldier would pick up any piece of paper he found, frown and say, “That’s not it” and put it down again. This went on for some time, until the general arranged to have the soldier psychologically tested. The psychologist concluded that the soldier was deranged,

My wife texted “I’m leaving you”

And followed with “after lunch to go shopping with my sister.” I asked why in the world she sent the message that way. “I just wanted you to realize how good you have it with me.” I texted her back “Remind your sister she said she would come over later to give me a hand