I was sitting at a bar and asked the bartender where I could find a piece of ass.

He told me to go to the back door, down the dark alley and give the woman there 20 bucks. So I go outside and hand a 20 to the woman there and started getting busy. After a few minutes, a cop walks past and shines a flashlight on us and says “What the hell are you doing?” and I said “Having sex with my wife.” He said “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that was your wife.” and I said “Neither did I till you shined a light on her.”

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  1. True story: I meet a girl in a bar. She a little tipsy and very much into me, so within 5′ we start making out. Suddenly I feel a tap on my back and as I turn there ‘s this huge guy! I ‘m thinking “shit, that ‘s his girlfriend and I ‘m so dead”. But before I m able to think of an excuse huge guy tells me: “hey look, I m sorry, I didn’t know she was your girlfriend”. Didn’t even bother to learn why he apologized.

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