Category: Wife

A man walks into a bar and says, “Give me six double vodkas.” Pouring the shots, the bartender comments, “Wow, you must have had one hell of a day.”

“Yeah, I just found out my oldest son is gay.” The next day, the same guy comes into the bar and asks for six more double vodkas. When the bartender asks what’s wrong, the man says, “I just found out that my youngest son is gay, too!” On the third day, the guy comes into

A little push.

A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it’s half past three in the morning. “I’m not getting out of bed at this time,” he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. “Aren’t you going to

The poor man asks the rich man,

“What are you getting your wife this Christmas?” The rich man replies, “Diamond earrings and a Mercedes.” The poor man asks, “Why are you getting her two gifts?” The rich man says, “Well, if she doesn’t like the earrings then she can drive to the store and exchange them.” The poor man nods. Then the

A man takes his seat at the World Cup final. He looks over and notices there’s an extra seat in between himself and the next guy.

The man says, “Who would ever miss the World Cup final?” The guy replies, “Well that was my wife’s seat. We have been to the last five World Cup finals together, but sadly she passed away.” The man says back, “That’s terrible, but couldn’t you get another close family member to come with you?” The

RIP Mr. Schwartz

A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest penis he had ever seen! ‘I’m sorry Mr. Schwartz,’ the mortician commented, ‘I can’t allow you to be cremated with such an impressive penis. It must be saved

A married couple was on vacation in Jamaica.

They were touring around the marketplace looking at the goods and such, when they passed a small sandal shop. From inside they heard the shopkeeper with a Jamaican accent say, “You foreigners! Come in. Come into my humble shop.” So the married couple walked in. The Jamaican said to them, “I ave some special sandals