Category: Jokes

A man walks into Target

He gets a cart and visits each aisle picking out various items that he’s never bought before. He takes his overloaded buggie up to the checkout and calmly watches each item beginning scanned. When it’s over and the cashier asks for payment, he says, “Oh I don’t have any money. This was just Target practice.”

[NSFW] The penguin.

A guy goes to the whorehouse but he’s strapped for cash. “What can I get for 5 bucks?” “5 bucks… That’ll get you a ‘penguin.’ Rose! Come, take this man back and give him a penguin.” Rose takes the man to her room, undoes his pants and starts giving him a blowjob. But right before

A 13 year old weasel walks into a bar…

A 13 year old weasel walks into a bar and approaches the counter. The bartender immediately notices the underage weasel. “Sir, you look extremely young. I can’t serve you even a single beer.” “Oh c’mon. You can’t just slide me one?” “Can’t and will not serve to anyone under age.” “Fine. Well what other things

At Heathrow airport in England…

…a 300-foot red carpet was stretched out and President Putin strode to a warm but dignified hand shake from Queen Elizabeth. They rode in a silver 1934 Bentley to the edge of Central London where they boarded an open 17th century coach hitched to six magnificent white horses. As they rode towards Buckingham Palace, each

I met an older woman at a bar last night.

She looked pretty good for a 60-year-old. In fact, she wasn’t too bad at all, and I found myself thinking she probably had a really hot daughter. We drank a couple of beers, and she asked if I’d ever had a Sportsman’s Double? ‘What’s that? I asked. ‘It’s a mother and daughter threesome,’ she said.