‘Father’, he confessed, ‘it has been one month since my last confession… I had sex with Fanny Green twice last month.’ The priest told the sinner, ‘You are forgiven. Go and say three Hail Mary’s’. Soon thereafter, another Irish man entered the confessional. ‘Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I’ve had
and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, “I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. I’ll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back.” The room is quiet and no one takes up the Texan’s offer. One man even leaves. Ten
– **Quizmaster**: ‘Your first question: who read the *Proclamation of Independence* from the steps of the GPO?’ – **Contestant**: ‘Pass’ – **Quizmaster**: ‘OK. Second question: name the Irish rebel leader born in Scotland.’ – **Contestant**: ‘Pass’ – **Quizmaster**: ‘Question three: which *Countess* was an important leader in the rebellion?’ – **Contestant**: ‘Pass’ Suddenly, his friend
The priest in a small Irish village loved the rooster and ten hens he kept in the hen house behind the church. One Sunday morning, before mass, he went to feed the birds and discovered that the cock was missing. He knew about cock fights in the village, so he questioned his parishioners in church.
Jenny pipes up instantly; “My mum has the flu, I think it’s contagious!”. “Excellent work!”, the teacher responds. “Anyone else have an example? What about you Seamus?” Seamus McDougall, the new Irish exchange student, thinks for a moment. “M’ Pa made me lunch t’day, but it took the contagious!”. View Reddit by imadien – View
A backpacker is traveling through Ireland when it starts to rain. He decides to wait out the storm in a nearby pub. The only other person at the bar is an older man staring at his drink. After a few moments of silence the man turns to the backpacker and says in a thick Irish
An Irish man walks into a bar, asks for three beers, chugs them all and leaves. He does this every week for several weeks, until finally the bartender asks him the reason of his ritual. The man looks at him and says he has two more brothers with whom he always got together weekly to
He orders a Guinness, and the 2nd redheaded man turns to him. “I’m guessing from that accent you’re from Dublin?” he asks, in an Irish brogue. “Of course!” the 1st guy exclaims, “here, bartender, get this guy a Guinness, too.” Their exchange continues: 1st: Lemme ask you, what street did you grow up on? 2nd:
The executioner lines the men in a row and says that each of them can have one final wish. He starts by asking the Irishman what his wish is. “My wish is to have 1000 Irish tap dancers tapping during my execution.” “Granted.” The executioner replied and then proceeded to ask the Scotsman his wish.