Can your D*ck touch your as*hole?

An old man takes his grandson fishing in a local pond one day. After 20 minutes of fishing, the old man fires up a cigar. The young boy asks, “Grandpa, can I have a cigar?” The old man asks, “Son, can your d*ck touch your asshole?” The young boy says no. “Then u can’t have a cigar.” Another 20 minutes passes, and the old man opens a beer. The young boy asks, “Grandpa, can I have a beer?” The old man asks, “Son, can your d*ck touch your asshole?” The young boy says no. “Well, then u can’t have a beer.” Another 20 minutes passes, and the young boy opens a bag of potato chips. The old man asks, “Son, can I have some of your chips?” The boy asks, “Well, Grandpa, can your d*ck touch your asshole?” The old man says, “It sure can.” The boy says, “Well good, then go f*ck yourself, these are my chips.”



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78 comments

  1. I told this joke and was downvoted and trolled. I was told it was the oldest joke in the world and everyone knows that one.

    Well I’m here to do the same to you. Old joke, downvoted. You son of a bitch.

  2. I don’t understand why people sensor words with * when it’s clear what you’re saying. It’s like saying @$$H0LE. Yeah, technically you didn’t say it but just spell the thing out. You thought it, might as well just say/type it.

  3. “Can your dick touch your asshole? ”

    “no because when it’s soft it doesn’t reach and when it’s hard it doesn’t bend”

    A twist of what I’ve heard before (no pun intended)

  4. Fuckin love this joke. I was very very close with my grandpa growing up. He was practically my father. (Biological father died as a small child) A couple of years ago my grandpa passed away. When he was in hospice, the day before he died, as he lay in his bed unresponsive and barely clinging onto life. I leaned in and whispered this joke into his ear and when I said the punchline a big grin appeared on his face. Maybe it was just a weird muscle twitch or something but I like to think I was the last person to make him smile with that joke.

  5. An old man takes his grandson fishing in a local pond one day.

    After 20 minutes of fishing, the old man fires up a cigar.

    The young boy asks, “Grandpa, can I have a cigar?”

    The old man asks, “Son, can your d*ck touch your asshole?”

    The young boy says no.

    “Then u can’t have a cigar.”

    Another 20 minutes passes, and the old man opens a beer.

    The young boy asks, “Grandpa, can I have a beer?”

    The old man asks, “Son, can your d*ck touch your asshole?”

    The young boy says no.

    “Well, then u can’t have a beer.”

    Another 20 minutes passes, and the young boy opens a bag of potato chips.

    The old man asks, “Son, can I have some of your chips?”

    The boy asks, “Well, Grandpa, can your d*ck touch your asshole?”

    The old man says, “It sure can.”

    The boy says, “Well good, then go f*ck yourself, these are my chips.”

  6. I don’t know whether its the formatting on my phone being weird and not showing the text correctly but can someone explain this to me please? It seems like it’s just gramps saying hes got a big meat truncheon and then his grandson gets rude..?

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