A guy rents a hotel room and hires a prostitute to meet him there.

Being quite shy, he turns the light off, leaving the room lit only by the faint glow of the moon through the blinds.

There is a *knock* on the door, and sitting on the edge of the bed, already aroused in anticipation, he says, “It’s open. Come in and leave the light off”. She enters and straight away starts giving him a hand job.

It suddenly dawns on him that this is easily the weirdest hand job he’s ever had. She’s tugging at it quite rough, twisting the end, literally blowing on it and even biting it a few times. He’s amazed she has any customers at all.

He stops her immediately and yells, “Enough! Get the fuck out of here!”

About 5 minutes after she leaves, the phone rings in his room.

He picks it up and a voice says, “Hello sir, this is reception. We heard what just happened and we’ll send another one up straight away.”

“Wow! I didn’t know you provide that kind of service!” says the man

“Yes sir! Although, we’d kindly ask you to try and keep your temper down. You gave the bell boy quite a scare after he couldn’t open your champagne.”

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  1. **A man on a business trip to Las Vegas heard about how good the Las Vegas prostitutes were so on his first night there, he decided he would go out and try his luck.
    He walked outside his hotel and looked up and down the street and saw an attractive girl standing on the corner.
    He approached her and asked her if she is working tonight and sure enough she said “Meet me in room 804 across the street.”
    He was in luck.
    She was a knockout.
    They got to the room and he sat down anxiously on the edge of the bed.
    She asked him what he wanted and he thought for a second, then said “How much for a hand job?” She said, “300”.
    His eyes popped open and he asked “300?”
    She said, “Walk over to that window and open the curtains”.
    He proceeded.
    “See that motel down there? I own it, and I didn’t inherit it. I’m that good.”
    He was like, “well go right ahead honey”.
    So she proceeded to give him the best hand job he ever had.
    After a little rest he thought, if that was that good…”How much for a blow job?”
    She said “600”. OH MY GOD! was his reply.
    She told him to walk back over to the window.
    “See that 15 story hotel?
    I own it and I didnt inherit it. I’m that good.”
    He said “Well get to work then sweetie.”
    And sure enough he got the best blow job he ever received.
    After a little “rebuilding” time he thought, if that was that good… “How much for sex?”
    She chuckled and said, “Honey, I’d own this whole damned town if only I had a pussy.”**

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